In a post earlier this month, The People Side’s Claire Williams noted that if we want to be great leaders, we must become self-aware. The EQi-2.0 assessment is a great way to begin the journey of cultivating a better sense of yourself.  Emotional Intelligence is now widely accepted as a critical factor in our success and well-being, and it’s the sine qua non for how we are viewed as a leader, partner and parent.  This valid and reliable tool has helped my clients to hold up a mirror and reality check who they are and what others may be experiencing in their presence.

Over the past ten years I’ve worked with hundreds of seasoned and emerging leaders using the EQi-2.0 Like IQ, the EQ-i normalizes at 100 (functioning), with a total EI of 150 being the tippy-top of ability.  There are fifteen EI competencies that make up the EQi-2.0, with each showing its own score. Many clients initially believe that the higher their score in a particular competency, the more effective they must be in that area. However, we’ve all heard the warning tale about “too much of a good thing” — well EQ is no exception. Sometimes our greatest strengths, when overdone, become our weaknesses.

Below are brief descriptions of each EQ competency and what it might look like when overdone.  Then we will discuss how these tendencies showed up in one of my coaching clients….

• Self-Regard:  Respecting oneself; confidence

  Overused: Blind to personal feedback; arrogant

• Self-Actualization: Pursuit of meaningful goals; self-improvement

  Overused: Leaves others in the dust

• Emotional Self-Awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions, their cause and the impact on oneself and others

  Overused: Too much focus on the “me”

• Emotional Expression: Openly expressing one’s feelings

  Overused: Too much emotion, at the wrong time

• Assertiveness: Communicating feelings and thoughts non-offensively

  Overused: “My way or the highway” attitude

• Independence: Self-directed; free from emotional dependency

  Overused: Not a team player; doesn’t accept help

• Interpersonal Relationships: Developing and maintaining mutually satisfying relationships

  Overused:  Avoids difficult conversations; won’t upset others

• Empathy: Recognizing, appreciating and respecting other’s feelings and perspective

  Overused: Gets too caught up in other’s strong emotions: catches their “dis-ease”

• Social Responsibility: Social consciousness, being a team player

  Overused: Gives up on their own needs

• Problem Solving: Finding solutions to problems when emotions are in play, and knowing how they are affecting the situation

  Overused: Ignores feelings (their own and others’); impersonal

• Reality Testing: Remaining objective; seeing things as they are, not as one wants them to be; aware of bias

  Overused: Relies too heavily on what is; ignores intuition and what could be

• Impulse Control: Resisting or delaying an impulsive thought or action

  Overused: Too thoughtful, slow, analytical

• Flexibility: Adapting emotions, thoughts and behaviors to the situation

  Overused: Gives in too much; wishy-washy

• Stress Tolerance: Coping with difficult situations and believing one can influence the situation and its affect on oneself

  Overused: Too laid back and out of sync with the situation

• Optimism: Remaining hopeful about the future and resilient despite setbacks

  Overused: Sets goals that are unrealistic

Below is the EQi-2.0 assessment of one of my clients (we’ll call her Carla). She is a brilliant, hard-charging, Harvard MBA who’s now CEO of a newly formed tech company with a smart, motivated staff.  She has a Total EI of 108 which puts her above the median.  That sounds good, but the subtleties of her report reveal (as she admitted) an attention-getting cocktail.

Strong Scores In:

• Self-Actualization

• Independence

• Flexibility

• Stress Tolerance

Compared to Relatively Low Scores In:

• Social Responsibility

• Empathy

• Impulse Control

• Emotional Self-Awareness

The assessment confirmed for Carla what she already knew about herself, but didn’t like to admit. Her independent, go-getter, nothing-rattles-me approach often left those around her feeling frustrated and unsupported. Those strengths had served her well for a time but were in overdrive for her current context. And she knew…

“What got me where I am, isn’t going to get me where I want to be.”

Carla asked for a 360 feedback assessment from her staff and got the same confirmation.  Now she was motivated and ready for change.  She asked for help, insights and feedback from her staff regarding when she might be acting too independently, as well as crediting her when – even in the heat of stressful situations – she demonstrated empathy and team spirit.

Carla’s ability to up her leadership game was helped by the self-awareness she gained from the EQi-2.0 assessment, the vulnerability she shared with her staff, the clarity on what she wanted to develop in herself, and the help from those that cared about her.

“What leadership asset do you have that could be getting in the way?”

Interested in taking the EQi-2.0 assessment? Send us a message and we’ll connect you with one of our EQi-certified coaches.

Allen Hollander has inspired, coached and developed 1,000’s of leaders from a variety of industries. He brings credibility, optimism and humor to all his interactions whether in the classroom, team development off-sites, or one-on-one coaching engagements with highly successful executives who have reputations as ‘impossible to work with.’